21 January 2016
In the early years of my teen life, I had expectations and ideas of what type of person I was looking for; how I would act in a relationship and what kind of relationship I wanted. Let us just say I am a picky person in some cases. No girl should settle for less.
Going to an all girl’s school and having no contact with the opposite gender for a long time made me a very socially awkward and I am a quite shy person in general so: until you get to know me and I trust you enough.
Starting two years ago, my friend and I had a yearly routine to try a dating app to make some male friends from our non-existing list after failing in college. I spoke to a bunch of people but did not really find someone I could really deeply connect to… until recently.
I was never the typical girl to go for the tall, dark and handsome (as long as a guy was average looking enough it was fine by me); over-time as I got older I realised that I fell for a person’s good personality or the good personality I saw in some people that don’t deserve it. Luckily, in some ways, it never developed into anything more than a crush.
It was funny this year; I had the mindset of just making friends on this social “dating” app. Just someone I could connect with as well as my best friends, have banter with anyone that could handle my sense of humour and just being my complete and utter self -something that I would never have done before.
During the years, I developed strong gut instincts to know whether a person is good or not, which I have found to be quite reliable. It took trial and errors along with filtering people from the app. Course there was a lot of good looking guys online; however, I was more interested in their profiles as it can tell a lot about a guy and if they are players: especially when they start to talk to you.
After about four days of being on the app and about to give up after a cringing conversation with a player, a guy decided to look at my profile so I decided to visit theirs. It was funny because as I read it I thought to myself, oh wow he reminds me of the male version of me with a hint of mystery: because what girl isn’t weak to the dark mysterious guys.
I am usually the type that believes should be the ones to talk to a girl first sort of person, but finding out he was a fellow Whoverian (Doctor Who Fan) and the first I found on the app I just had to say hello. As the hours and days progressed, we found more and more in common along with random coincidences such as our birthdays being the exact opposites, for example, my DD/MM when swapped would have been his birthday: which shocked us both. We got along so well it would have been mistaken that we had known each other for years. It is RARE to find someone that you have so much in common with in mostly every aspect.
We were two straightforward people were he admitted to me he liked me since a joked I pulled about the Doctor Who episode we were watching and slyly flirted from then on. I was careful trying not to reciprocate it until I knew if I had similar feelings for him: due to being in the pickle of liking two good guys ^^”. Being on buddy terms with the Whoverian fan, I asked him for advice on how to chose considering he was wise and sensible enough.
It took me a meet up with the other guy to find out that:
- I only liked the idea of the other guy.
- Either I was having guilt or gut feeling that it would not have worked out.
- Whatever he did, Whoverian dude was constantly on my mind throughout the whole day. To which I admittedly cursed to myself.
- I developed feeling for the Whoverian dude and was feeling guilty meeting up because I knew I had to do the inevitable and friend zone the other guy.
So, I did the inevitable after the meetup and friend zoned the other guy in the nicest way possible and began subtly flirting with Mr Whoverian. I had laid out many dating rules for myself over the years, which were:
- NEVER date a player because a) I am not that type of girl and b) I do not like wasting time on someone who does not have the decency to care about me as a person rather than my looks.
- DON’T jump into a relationship until a) You know that the guy is real, b) ask him to wait a month and if he is willing he isn’t a player and truly cares about being with you, and c) This isn’t a dream… Is it?
I have a stubborn personality and hate to admit any feelings for a guy especially when it is too soon but when you are in a situation of the fear of losing a person (especially with a person you have a deep connection with) you have to push your ego, along with society dating rule of playing hard to get aside and just tell them. Oh don’t worry, he admitted he liked me first ^_^ It’s weird though because I thought it would take me a while to open up to anyone; however he opened up to me and somehow, some way I managed to do the same.
I always pictured myself to be the cool girlfriend: not jealous to which I am not when he is talking to female friends that I know are just friends. However, as a girl insecurities do happen; with his friend saying I was not good enough for him because I was small in the boob or bum department and that my man deserved better which angered him a lot and he stated to his friend he was taken. Who by you ask? Moi
A lovely quote by him was:
“Why go for looks when we all reach the stage to where we will end up the same: old and wrinkly. A person’s personality lasts forever and that’s more important.”
Reassuring I know, anyway to get to the point, his friend gave my man’s number to a girl he wanted to set him up with to which I didn’t think much of it but her persistency bothered me over time. I guess I realised that my evolutionary instinct kicked in.
He ignored the texts, even showing me the text and giving me his phone password. Complete trust and honesty at a point I wanted to write a polite paragraph to say that he was taken and I wished her the best for the future; however, man took the phone out of my hands before I could ¬_¬
Neither of us is perfect. I know I am not and there were pet peeves that he hit that I got used to (well kinda):
- Sending the word K
- Cringe worthy pet names such as Honey Boo Boo, I am sorry but it just reminds me of this kid no hate to her, though.
- His slight clinginess to me that I have learnt to accept after finding out that I can be like that too. What is our excuse? Oh, it is just the honeymoon stage
Ideally before dating my idea of a relationship was not to have a clingy one but in summary, ha-ha life never goes to plan. Shiz is unpredictable! Although being in my first relationship I have learnt a lot about myself as well as about relationships. Pstttt… Dating in movies is a lie!